Longing and desire

Beth Moore's "Living Beyond Yourself" study of the fruit of the Holy Spirit has been so timely! When faced with difficult circumstances and choices, it's easy to focus in and forget about the rest of the world. This usually leads to more frustration, losing sight of the "big" picture, and making poor decisions. As Nick and I face a few large decisions, this study has been great in doing just what the title suggests, living beyond ourselves.

The past few weeks, the study has taken us through the Holy Spirit's history as written in both the Old and New Testaments and then through Galatians to set the stage.

Yesterday, we started looking at love. The first of the fruit. However, we started with what type of love this fruit is not. Yesterday was "eros" love.

Eros was never used in the New Testament but was more commonly used by Greeks and is found in Greek literature. Eros, the Greek mythological god of love personifies "longing and desire," which is exactly what eros means. "Eros is a selfish love; it asks 'what can I get for myself?'" It is often associated with sexual love and can lead to a possessive, controlling "love." Although sexuality was never created for conquering and possession, on its own, a part from God's redeeming love it becomes just that.

If God has created family and through families, raised up the church to share His love, then what is the best way to destroy the church? Destroy the family. Sex, as it was created to be, is the expression of "dowd" and "rayah" used by Solomon and his lover (Song of Songs). "Dowd" means "my one beloved" and rayah means "female associate" or "the woman of my dreams." God created physical desire and attraction but not selfish eros. That desire for each other is important. In the study, Beth puts it this way:

Dowd and rayah are both specialized terms in the context of these Scriptures. This kind of love is acceptable toward only one person: your marriage partner. If you are married, God gave you this precious gift (see I Cor. 7:7) that you might experience great pleasure together.

As I write these words, I am aware that many of you reading them may have no physical desire for your mate. It may be that you love him dearly, but he simply has become undesirable to you. Please hear my heart and allow me to be very open with you for the sake of God's kingdom. Physical love or sexual intercourse is to marriage what prayer is to our spiritual life. prayer is the hallmark of intimacy with Christ. Sexual desire and fulfillment are the hallmarks of inticmacy with out mate. With the exception of medical or physical limitations, I do not believe healthy marriages exist absent of physical affection. 

[....] I know exactly what some of you are thinking, and I understand these feelings with all my heart: But, Beth, how can I make myself feel desire for my husband? I just don't! Some years ago, a very godly woman gave me the best advice I've ever been given concerning this area of marriage, and it was her own personal testimony. She said, "Ever single day I pray to thrill to his touch."

[....] You're right in thinking you cannot make yourself feel desire. But, oh, my sweet sister, God can change your heart and give you healthy desires toward your mate. Will you let him?

Tomorrow, we'll look at the next type of love philos meaning "friend love."